Monday, August 26, 2013

we are cognitive creatures

We are cognitive creatures... which means that we like to invent categories and then put things into them.  When we encounter other people, we put the people into categories too.  Common categories include "friend," "enemy," "lover," "sibling," "acquaintance."  The categories we create come loaded with all of our expectations about what persons of that category should be like.  Invariably, we find that a person we put into a given category does not meet all of these expectations.  For example, perhaps a person in category "friend" does not always respond to her text messages promptly.  Perhaps the person in category "acquaintance" tells you strangely intimate details of his life.  And this often disturbs us... because we have forgotten that the categories and all of the expectations that come with them are pure inventions.  We have forgotten that people do not come to us in pre-existing boxes that match the images we have in our heads, and we have forgotten that everyone's categories are different, even if we call them by the same name.  So when we are forced to recognize the inevitable discrepancies between our imagined categories, and a real human being, we feel discomfort.  Many times, we react by moving the person into a new category:  friend becomes enemy, acquaintance becomes friend, lover becomes ex-lover.  Are these new categories really better than the old ones... are they more accurate or true?  Probably not, but we convince ourselves that they are.  We imagine that the person who once possessed the attributes of one category now suddenly possesses the attributes of a different one, often ignoring the glaring inconsistencies.  Perhaps due to a harsh remark, a friend is now an enemy, or a lover is now an acquaintance:  but has the person really changed?  Certainly people change over time... but rarely as rapidly as we sometimes re-categorize them.  Or instead of moving people from one category to another, we may attempt to make the person conform to our expectations.  So we make up rules that we think will accomplish this, and we require that people obey the rules.  These rules can give us a sense of security.  And many rules are quite useful... particularly those intended to prevent us from harming others or ourselves.  If the rules are broken, then we are forced to confront the fact that control is an illusion.  And if the rules are dogmatically obeyed, then we run the risk that opportunities pass us by in our blind devotion to other people's expectations.  And while we are busy making rules and shuffling everyone in our lives between all of these boxes, we fail to get to know them as they are.  So long as we are preoccupied by all of our pre-made boxes and the things we expect to be in them, we do not see the actual human beings who are before us.  

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

recipe for organic multi-grain cake

This simple recipe is all organic and can be made right at home using fresh ingredients you can find at your local produce section or tropical rain forest.  It's great to serve to oneself, visiting guests, or at company picnics.


4 teaspoons of vinegar
1/4 cup water siphoned from a mountain spring
1 Agaricus mushroom
1 deer antler
1 Cnidium fruit
3 Gynostemma leaves
2 oz. of thermofluidic Mucor miehei fungus
1 oz. of mineral salt solution of zinc sulfate and hydrochloric acid
1 cultured petri dish of Streptococci
2 fl. oz. of tears from a newborn infant
3 tbs. of placenta
1 tbs. each of whole grain organic barley, rye, and wheat seeds
1 female cattle (cow)
1 temperature and humidity controlled cellar


1.  Plant organic grain in flower bed or empty patch of soil, scattered in orderly rows labelled by type.  Water regularly and ensure adequate sunlight for 3 to 4 months, until ready for harvesting.  Collect and set aside small bowl of wheat bran.
2.  Meanwhile, milk cow to obtain 1 gallon of whole milk.  Begin fermentation process of the Mucor miehei in a brine bath.
3.  Churn 1/2 gallon of fresh milk in a butter churn for 5 hours until desired consistency is achieved.  Set aside 4 tablespoons of butter.
4.  Heat the remaining 1/2 gallon of milk in a kettle on the stove top until boiling, then turn off heating element.
5.  Add vinegar and stir with a spoon until it turns to curds and whey.  Pass the curds through a cheese cloth to separate from the whey and then compress to remove moisture.
6.  Moisten the wheat bran with acidic salt solution and autoclave for 1 hour at 15 psi.
7.  Meanwhile, grind deer antler with mortar and pestle until powdered.  Dice Gynostemma leaves and mushroom with a pairing knife and mix with one crushed Cnidium seed and set aside in a small bowl.
8.  Add the fermented thermofluidic M. miehei and steptococci culture to the compressed curds.  Cultivate in an incubator at 50 degrees Centigrade for 96 hours.
9.  Combine 3 oz. of cultivated cheese with deer antler, Gynostemma leaves, Agaricus, and crushed Cnidium.  Compress into an approximately 1 inch square with hydraulic press and age in cellar for 1-2 years at 15 degrees Centigrade and 20% humidity.
10.  Harvest the grain stalks or cut with a scythe.  Wash and dry.
11.  Chop grain and then crank in a mill until all of the grain has been processed through.  Repeat until the blend of grains reaches a fine powdery texture.
12.  Combine grain flour in a small mixing bowl with infant tears, placenta, and remaining 4 tbs. butter and mix thoroughly until doughy.
13.  Roll whole grain dough into a small sheet approximately 3 by 3 inches square and use a circular serrated cookie cutter to cut out a circular region.  Bake in pre-heated oven at 400 degrees F for 15 minutes until brown and crispy.
14.  Top with the square of aged cultured cheese and a sprig of parsley and serve!

Makes one serving.  Recommended side dishes:

Best served with a side of fresh arugula and seaweed salad peppered with Himalayan olives, roasted almonds, and grilled fois gras in a blue cheese pistachio dressing nestled on a bed of jasmine quinoa and whole grain polenta seasoned with sea salt and white truffles and served with a side of poached egg whites under a canopy of diced yam crisps in a port wine and goat's milk reduction with a cluster of skewered asparagus bathed in garlic coconut cream sauce and pickled durians in a cinnamon potpourri with a half tablespoon of crushed pink peppercorns lightly sprinkled on top.

Monday, August 12, 2013

asymptotic misanthropy and the gelfand triplet

Asymptotic ergotic misanthropy is characterized by the loss of comprehension and expression of verbal language (aphasia) in association with severely abnormal electroencephalic (EEG) findings that often result in seizures.  Passages in the Voynich codex, which were transcribed in the 13th century from the diaries of an unknown Franciscan herbalist and psychic astrologer, describe similar effects resulting from oral injestion of the ascospores in combination with alcohol and correlated with a defficiency of alpha-1 antitrypsin.  The codex offers a triangulated model, which can be formulated as a completed Hilbert space or Gelfand triplet.  Subsequent corners of the triangle represent (1) the simple spore space, (2) the completed spore space, and (3) the rigged spore space.  These spaces are created by iterative fluidic compression of the spores in a series of phallic vessicles varying in diameter from 3 to 50 microns, and are accompanied by symptoms of increasing severity, including: sleep disorder, weight loss, existential numbness, metaphysical catastrophic distress, and death by self-immolation.  The cycle then repeats ad infinitum, with the victim being resurrected from the flames at each iteration only to repeat the process.  Eventually, the subject transcends reality, resulting in complete unintelligibility and psychosis.